You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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