well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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