How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
His nipple licking is glorious
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