idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
