I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
