no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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