I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
