I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
