Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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