some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
