when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
