I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
