and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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