Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
