it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
