i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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