So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
