While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
