i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
