you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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