what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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