i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Please don't give away my fajitas
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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