Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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