This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
