It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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