he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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