i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
