Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
