Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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