I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
