You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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