Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
