Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
