We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
