I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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