I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
