Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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