Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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