This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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