I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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