i don't like sucking hair
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I need a burrito and a hug.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
