I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
