smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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