the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There r osticjed everywhere
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
