so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
