Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
