Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize