no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
