Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
