Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
