If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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