well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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