I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
