His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
