He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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