Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
