I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
