Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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