The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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