..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
